Relationships and Love After Forty

By Tonja Weimer

Are you over forty, single, and think a love relationship has passed you by? Do you think you will never find love because you are “older”? The truth is, with the right attitude, being over forty can work to your advantage. In all probability, you have learned something from your past relationships. You are at a stage where you can look beyond the surface presentation of someone and deeper into their character.

What are the qualities that you can polish, if you are over forty, that will make you very attractive? Take a look at the following:

*Learn to listen

People over forty have a better sense of how to listen. Being in a love relationship takes listening skills. Listening involves more than letting someone else talk–though it begins there. Many people cannot allow enough time or room to let the other person express what they want to say. To listen with care is to allow that space and to not judge. Full listening is giving someone your complete attention without expecting something in return.

*Develop your talents

If you are over forty, you probably have discovered some activities that you are good at. Being a talented person is very attractive. Relationships that flourish are usually between two very talented people. If you do not know what you are good at, uncover those hidden desires and dreams and go find your edge. You develop your unique identity from polishing your talents and acknowledging your successes.

*Be brave and adventurous

People who are not afraid to fall in love and have a relationship must have a certain amount of bravery. When you are over forty, you are more willing to take the risks associated with putting yourself out there and discovering if there is the potential for love. What do you have to lose? You may discover that the person you thought you could care for is not available–emotionally, or otherwise–but that does not mean you are not worth loving or that you are not going to find the perfect person for you. It just means that you have to keep looking. People over forty are willing to make an adventure out of being single.

Have commitment and determination

If you truly want to find love and a relationship–at any age–you must persevere. Did you just walk out of the house one day and get handed your diploma or your job or your home? Of course not. You worked for it. So why would you think that you could just walk out the door and fall into the arms of True Love? If you are over forty, you are going to have to DO something. And, if you are over forty, you are mature enough to figure out what actions you have to take.

Stay in the “now”

Keep your conversation in the present and your eyes on the road ahead. Being actively involved in a life of possibility attracts people to you. Talking about your current interests draws others to you. Many people over forty have not put their past hurts behind them. When they meet someone new, they talk about their EX. Get some help in moving past that issue so you can find the love and the life that you deserve.

The sooner we learn that age has nothing to do with meeting people, the sooner we can find someone wonderful. Can you find love and a great relationship after forty? Of course!

Visit or for more tips, skills, and insight on dating, relationships, singles, and love. Subscribe to our F*ree Savvy Dating Newsletter from master single’s coach, life coach, and syndicated columnist, Tonja Weimer. Copyright 2006, Tonja Weimer. (Please note source if reprinting this article.)

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